Day 55.

I decided to start a daily blog to help with my PTSD as well my overall healing. For those of you who aren't familiar with my story I will start from the beginning.  When I was 29 weeks pregnant I went on for a normal OB check up and they sent me to the perinatal assessment office for a routine exam. I was born with a pelvic kidney so we were not sure if that would affect my ability to have a vaginal birth. So on February 18, I had my appointment. They started off by taking my vitals which is totally normal. My blood pressure was extremely high. They decided to admit me to the hospital for close monitoring. It was there that I was placed on bed rest with bathroom capabilities. I was given a 24 hour urine test and administered steroids right away.  I felt totally fine except for the fact I was super swollen everywhere. After my 24 hour urine which was only a few mls because I was retaining so much water, the doctor came in and asked why I was still pregnant? It turns out I had severely preeclampsia. I was immediately prepped for an emergency c-section. I was terrified. I was 10 weeks early. I wasn't ready to be a mom yet. I wasn't ready to have my child cut out of me. I wanted to feel her kicks and hiccups for a couple  months longer. When the surgery was going on, I was shaking. I'm not sure if it was the cold of the OR or the state of shock. Well, at 11:32pm on February 19, Kora Kelly Gonzales was brought into this world. She weighed 2 pounds 3 ounces and was 14 and a half inches long. When she was born, they diagnosed us with inner uterine growth restraint (IUGR). So even though she was 30 weeks she was measuring around 27. Kora was immediately taken into a room for stabilization. She was breathing on her own which is thanks to the steroids I got! I wasn't able to see her for the first time till she was 30 hours old as I was on some nasty drugs. (Magnesium Sulfate and Morphine) She was stable the first 4 days and we were able to love on her a from the outside of her box. Well, day 5 was different. She was transported to UMC for emergency surgery. Scariest moment of my life. It turns out that she had a blockage in her intestine which caused a perforation which causes free standing air in her stomach. They were able to fix it and placed a stoma on her. That was 7 weeks ago. She still has the a ostomy bag and is still waiting for her next surgery. She needs to weigh 5 pounds and she is now 4 pounds 3 ounces. So we are getting there! But in the recent weeks, life has been exhausting.  Between working full time and spending every other waking moment at the hospital. I have gained some really close friends from this though. Other moms and nurses who understand what this life is like. Kora is an amazing little girl who loves cuddling with daddy, screaming her head off and practicing her neck exercises. I am going to try to keep up with this everyday as a coping mechanism for myself. 

Her first picture. 

 

04/12/15 big yawns during bath time.